AARP....fuuucccckkkk.

I'm not turning 50 until October. My first solicitation for membership in AARP came in the mail today. What the fuck. I went to the mall today to buy the Victoria's Secret PINK Body stuff that Heather uses. Since I cleaned her room and closet to prepare for the move I have been dousing myself with her body spray. Loved it so I thought I should buy my own. I used to be able to buy cute bras and panties at Vicki's, so it was depressing to see that the only 38D bras in the sale bin were push-up bras that only God knows would wear. What 38D woman needs a push-up bra??! My boobs would be so high I could rest my chin on them! That's just dumb. There were at least five in the bin so you know that no one bought even one.

Anyway, while schlepping through the mall in my flip flops (cute, but too big because they stretched) I felt like a fat assed middle aged woman. Of course, I was comparing myself to girls who were maybe 18. It was so easy then to be cute. Didn't even have to work at anything but a tan then. I shopped in Coldwater Creek and Chicos, being very careful with what I picked out to try on. It's tough to shop in those stores because it's a fine line I walk trying to find clothes that look nice on my size 12 body and still feel like a ten, and also, I need to be very careful not buying something that borders on "old lady" clothes. Even though they have clothes with embroidery on them at Forever 21, when there is embroidery on the clothes at Coldwater it can be "old lady". I did, however, walk out of the mall with a cute top from Forever 21! Ha! Then I get home and find the fucking AARP card in the mail. Talk about blowing the wind out of your sails.

I don't even know what AARP stands for. I don't want to know yet. I think RP stands for "Retired Person", but I don't have the luxury of that title for at least another six years, and that's if I'm lucky. I glanced at the benefits, and there was something about eye care discounts. It's something I probably should look at, just for the discounts. But I think I'll be getting more in the mail...I can wait.